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untethered (side one)

by Dylan Goff

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Kenan
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Kenan Beautifully written tracks<3 my little heart can't handle it!!
Real David Keenan vibes I feel <3
Overall I'm in love Favorite track: Early April.
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1.
Early April 05:09
We make our start in the predawn dark braving damp early April cold, loading the blackened harp in the back of the car then edge it out onto the road. I don’t want to go. In convoys of self reflection we each keep to our own culpability hunt through memories - each of us armed to the teeth with fine-tooth combs. I don’t want to go. I just want to go back to her smile in the wintertime, crisp jack-frost grass under clear classy chilblain skies, and turn her around. I want to go back, cast my blind eyes into the sun, while she sits there laughing and telling me “It’s nothing much”. Yeah, it’s nothing. Whack-a-mole rage leaps out of each page when there are no feelings on show: my tired arms have been hammering hard as our old car winds past abandoned homes. I don’t want to go. I just want to go back to her sat by the riverside, as salmon-spawn ripples rolled out across the creeping tide; I think that’s where we all drowned. I want to go back, cast my blind eyes into the sun, while she sits there laughing and telling me “It’s nothing much”. Yeah, it’s nothing. I want to go back, creak the floors of lapsed grace, pleading cap-in-hand with the false angels and saints, and whisper to phantoms that never take hold that you get to waste time when you get to grow old. I want to go back, reach in through the glass veil, paint her stories in pictures when a thousand words fail, tell her each happy end leaves its own kind of scar while I’m bandaging chapters in the back of the car. I want to go back, cast my blind eyes into the sun, sit here in darkness until my time comes - because you just wait for answers until you give up - and I want to go back, tell her we’re trading places. I want to go back, save us all from our fates and I want to go back, and laugh that it’s all nothing much.
2.
I slipped out as a pointless sun sulked in the winter sky, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. My path was frozen but I was surefooted in my pride, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. I heard your pleas as bonds of grief that wouldn’t let me go, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. As the tissue tore on the severed chord I vowed to try alone, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. I plunged into a river seeking closure and renown, and as I cursed your birth I worried that I’d only let you down, but I told you “I’m an island now!” as I began to drown. Later on, when you were gone, I clambered back ashore, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. My muddy shoes left clues to where I stumbled stiff and sore, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. I clenched my fists and cried that I’d start reaping what you’d sown - and I didn’t know this way would lead to you - and the world would stop evading me and cough up what it owed, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. Swayed my my own rhetoric, I rallied to my cause. I shaved my head down to the skin and bought the uniform, and I was in the courtyard forming fours, roars bouncing off the walls, when my donkeys came to march me off to war. A veteran of errors made I stand before you all, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. I’m scarred from every prideful deed I’d planned before a fall, and I didn’t know this way would lead to you. I seek a great communion of your congregated souls to exorcise these demons screaming behind every note, that would have me gazing backwards until I turned into salt. Come gather round me now and bring me home, so I can walk back out that door and come with you.
3.
Sometimes I have little fights with the voices in my head where we argue over what to say. Sometimes when the doorbell rings I sit quietly and wait until whoever it is just goes away. I binge watch shows I used to hate back when I was a kid as the dishes pile up in the sink. I’ll get around to cleaning up when it becomes less impossible and I have some more energy. You can’t see where I am with my head down in the sand. Swipe me left, filter set for my closest online friends. Maybe I should just give up - stop pretending I’m in charge. I hold that thought for a little bit; it sounds good, but I can’t swallow it or I know I’ll never fit this snake oil salesman’s discarded skin. My missed calls are building up, they’ve started towering well above my engineer sensibilities. I tell myself I’ll call them back when they cease to be attacks on my fragile boundaries. You can’t see where I am with my head down in the sand. Swipe me left, filter set for my closest online friends. Maybe I could use some help so I can lift this load. I swallow my pride for a little bit; it tastes nice, but I can’t stomach it or I know I’ll never fit this snake oil salesman’s discarded skin. A means to an end is where I begin, chasing my tail back into my skin. Sew me in a refuse sack so I can’t climb out, dragging you all down as you turn your backs, wandering off like a metaphor for the regrets I have. I’m snug under the radar where nobody will search for me, circling the airport in a marvellous pedalled flying machine. You can’t see where I am with my head down in the sand. Swipe me left, filter set for my closest online friends. Can I stay another day leading me astray? I hold that thought for a little bit; it sounds good, but I can’t follow it or I know I’ll never fit…. Oh I know I’ll never fit.
4.
We're standing cold: a pair of idiots with frozen toes and eyes the size of sycamores. You're looking lost I'm looking at my ancient pocket watch and wondering where all the years go. Well I come back to you every time we're warm and we dissect all our tiny wars. It's in the air if I should dare to help you out or not; see, I'm not sure that I'm capable, I was never shown, and I guess I'll never know. I carry crosses made from all the pieces that I lost, you carry bags of what you got. We grace our days trying to never place the blame to faces, but always let them out to talk. Well I come back to you every time we're warm and we join up all the polkadots. Now I'm not sure if I'm the cure or if I'm much use at all: it's hard to tell just who's talking when our voices channel all our ghosts. (I thought I heard you in there somewhere.) Haunted homes are where the heart is, close the door and carry me over boards of grain and amber, through the darkened dusty parlour, round the garden, round, now carry me up the stairs and to the window, blinds draw streetlight stripes against you; across your eyes - I keep my sorrows crossed - now carry me over grass down to the water, set me down and hold my trembles. I didn’t mean to ask so much, I know it tires you out to carry me Now with our eyes all closed we jump in rivers fully clothed and hope our shoes will not fall off Well I come back to you every time we're warm and I ask you how you're getting on. You know, there's no one out there who I'd rather share a pod with. Yeah, I think I get your motives even when I breathe incompetence. Well, we see in leaves and branches and we creak when there's a storm. I want to be your source of calm and maybe even half a man, but I'm not sure that I'm capable; I was never shown and I guess I'll never know.
5.
I saw you behind her trying hard not to look at her letter, well we all feign disinterest when matters seem out of our reach. The actress, she spied you with coal-black round eyes that she wore as dark diamonds for her nonchalant smile, and you defenestrated your gaze before it could be seen. Hold me down, lover. oh hold me down now, the shadows are coming to carry us out in the rain. They found me on the hillside as skin and bone, I had lain there awaiting a price to be sold at, as damp was advancing the length of my servant girl sleeves. Now when you look I turn my face away, see I was only a prisoner of the portraits they paint. I pulled back the curtain to pry us together again. Hold me down lover, oh hold me down now, there's a roar rising through me that needs to come out but I don't think that I'll ever summon the courage to scream. Hold me down, lover. oh hold me down now, the shadows are coming to carry us out in the rain. Hush now, they're coming! They're carrying torches, my love! Hush now, they're coming! They're carrying torches, my love! And if the flames dance round my face in this night please don't stand there blackened, please just stand aside to collect my full heart from the ashes when passions subside. Hold me down lover, oh hold me down now, I've risen in silence to pull their flags out and I've bled out my colours for every cause that they named. Hold me down lover, oh hold me down now all these helium dreams are delusions of grandeur, it's not meant to be that we'll ever come round from our pain. Hold me down, lover, oh hold me down now, the shadows are coming to carry us out in the rain

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released March 19, 2021

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Dylan Goff Vienna, Austria

Born and raised in Drogheda, Ireland, Dylan Goff is a singer-songwriter who has lived in Vienna, Austria since the early 2000s. Although he has long made his physical home in Central Europe, musically he lives somewhere between the indie and folk worlds, with influences ranging from The National, Phoebe Bridgers and Gregory Alan Isakov to The Pogues, Lankum and Christy Moore. ... more

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